Today

I have a problem
With my comfort zone
And the lack of desire
To leave it
I do not wish
To be uncomfortable
And so I do not
Step over the threshold
I am weak and weary
I have succumbed
To laziness
I still desire
That all be healed
But I lack
The drive, the energy
(Dare I admit, interest)
To get up and act
I'm comfortable here
Maybe I'll get up
Tomorrow or the next
But if I don't move
How can I grow
And so how do I live
To live, I must live
Today

Imaginary Friends

Here I was thinking…

Fake people wouldn’t hurt me the same way
If they weren’t real, how could I get attached
How could they hurt me
And so then how could I hurt them

I should have known better
Of course I’ll get attached, real or imaginary
And even an imaginary friend can say no
Can go away and leave me to ache

So if you weren’t real, does that make you fake
Yes i suppose it does, after all
Didn’t you say you loved me, and then leave
So then you couldn’t have been true

And so now I’ve learned my lesson
But am I any better off for it
I would give my heart away again I think
To someone who tells me they love me

So now I’m thinking that maybe
Even though you’ve gone, it will be okay
After all, I still love you, real or not
And that’s enough for me

The Moment

There is a moment
A moment in life
Where something changes
Something is different
A shift in the atmosphere
And then suddenly
All at once
But only for one moment
We can see each other
See into our hearts
Into the depths of the soul
Of the person beside you
And in that moment
We understand
All the history and pain
The struggle and the victory
The past, present, and future
So much which has been hidden
Is suddenly revealed
For just that second
You understand why
And you feel the same
Then time moves on
And our secrets
Are hidden once again

To Protect Life

at his right hand
his brother
tired and weary
yet strong
ready to fight
to forge on
by his side
protecting their prize
he settles down
into his fight stance
catches his brother’s eye
nod of encouragement then
focuses on the danger
and then behind
his sister
weak and worn down
having fallen
over and over
she lies
on the ground 

half alive
so little strength left
hardly even to stand
but stand firm she will
holding her own
she will never give up
never give in
never accept defeat
neither will he
he will press onward
and face the enemy
to protect his brother
his sister
his family
never will he surrender
to do so would be
to lose his own life

Under Heavy Mountains

Up, down, in, out
Everyday the same
The routine remains constant
Unchanging, unrelenting

The colors gone
Gray monotony ensues
Day after day and repeat
Nothing changed

Deeper and deeper
Sinking in the abyss
Losing all control
Life gone to pieces

Something missing
No joy, no light
Only harsh pain
Black as dark death

Frantically scrambling
Searching for escape
Pressed beneath
Heavy mountains

Stifling air
Unable to see
To breathe, to live
Have to get out

Dancing with Jesus

"Dance with me," says my Lord
"There is no music," I protest
"Take my hand and open your ears."

"Dance with me," says my Lord
"People might see," I protest
"Close your eyes and see truth."

"Dance with me," says my Lord
"I don't know how," I protest
"Trust in me and I will lead you."

"Dance with me," says my Lord
"There is no where to dance," I protest
"Spread your wings and do not doubt."

"Dance with me," says my Lord
"I am not good enough," I protest
"My power is made perfect in weakness."

"Dance with me," says my Lord
"I am afraid," I protest
"I am with you, always."

"Dance with me," says my Lord
"I have not prepared," I protest
"I want you to come as you are."

"Daughter, come and dance with me,
Take my hand, do not protest,
Trust me and I will guide your feet."

A Hunted Man

He won't give his name
Says it's too late
There's no need
Nothing can save him

He won't listen to our pleas
He can't hear our tears
He thinks he's alone
No one cares for him

The pain the world cause him
It overcame him
He has given up
Forgotten his place

He refuses to speak
He believes words cause pain
He wants to be left alone
It's too late now

His name is his identity
His identity is his place
His place is his purpose
His purpose is gone

Today we learned his name
Today he whispered it
As we stood by crying
Watching the world take him away

I will protect his secrets
I will carry them with pride
I know who he was and what he did
I will carry his name to my grave

What I Don't Know

I know what I should do.
I know what I shouldn’t.
I know I’ve made it before.
I know I can do it again.
I know the consequences.
I know people care.
I know it won’t help.
I know it would help for a moment.
I know I want to feel better.
I know my scars have healed.
I know I don’t need more.
I know I don’t feel strong enough.
I know I don’t need to.
I know He will take care of me.
I know I need to trust Him.
I know what to do.
I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know anything at all.

“Confident, passionate, and beautiful”

She thinks of herself this way
Does she have any idea?
Those words are her in my mind
She is the very epitome of each word
To me, she always has been
And probably always will be

A beautiful, passionate girl
How could I live up to that?
She is always so put together
So happy, so sure, so beautiful
Who wouldn’t want to be like that?
Who could even come close?

They say perfect girls have flaws too
She says he changed her too much
That he made her feel flawed
But it never showed on the outside
And that was all I could see
And that was all she could see of me

She and I went through the same thing
Her struggle was even worse than mine
But she has come out of it perfect
Without missing a beat
Still as confident and strong as before
While it would seem that I have not

I can’t help but feel foolish beside her
Feel like a child who doesn’t deserve her time
I begin to understand how she felt
To see where she is and where she came from
But then I remember who she is
And I can’t help but shrink back

For “confident, passionate, and beautiful”
I am not.