Raindrops

Splish, splash, splosh
Pitter patter, the rain comes down

People run inside
Putting whatever had been in their hands
Over their heads
To keep from getting wet

Splish, splash, splosh

Pitter patter, the rain comes down

It comes down harder

The rivers rise up

The water washes away good and bad

Until nothing is left

Splish, splash, splosh

Pitter patter, the rain comes down

Sometimes the rain is welcome

Often it is not

Even then, it comes just the same

Always coming down

Never stopping if someone needs a break

The unending flow of raindrops

Which seems to never stop

It never stops...

What Are Words?

You feel them when you run your fingers over a page of a book
The black text ripples across the stiff paper
You feel them also when someone uses them to hurt you
Or to show you kindness and love
But these words are spoken and so affect our ears
They are heard and not felt by the sense of touch
Words taste bitter or sour or sweet on our tongues
But they cannot really have taste, for they cannot be seen
They do not appear in the air after they are spoken
To be read by any wandering eye
And yet when they are written down we see them
We use our eyes and our sight to understand their meaning
But in reality they are only ink and paper or indenations in the sand
Nothing but a jerk of the hand sets one letter apart from the next
And yet they have such different meanings when put together
They form an idea that the whole human race understands
Words cannot possibly have a scent, cannot be noticed by the nose
They simply float on the cool breaze or the breath of the person speaking
Often times they hold memories in themselves
Memories of smells and sights and sounds that stay with us always
Mostly memories of feelings that arose in repsonse to spoken words
Feelings that are not real to the fingertips nor to the eyes or ears, nor tongue nor nose
No, words are only always real in a place locked up
Somewhere hidden, and where only words themselves may rightfully penetrate:
Words belong in the heart

Mirror

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,
what is it I have become?
In the reflection, I don't see
the person I believed I was.

The person who stares back at me
is the type of person I always hated.
I was disgusted and revolted by her,
and I despised seeing her on the street.

But now I look at myself in the glass
and I see a horrible dark shadow of me.
I am unsure where I went wrong,
but I know now that I need mending.

She mocks me and laughs in my face,
she shows me how wrong I have been.
I hang my head in disgrace and shame,
and turn away from the dark memory.

Hit

How many times will I be hit
By tragic blows and stress
I start to think that maybe
Just maybe this is it
It won't all fall to pieces this time
But it hasn't happened yet

The world seems to be against you
Or at least that's what they say
But last I knew the world didn't pick sides
Unless things have changed
No, I know whose work this is
But he will not knock me down

I will overcome this hit

Space

I’ve given you space
Kept my distance
I think that’s what you wanted
The details are hazy now
I’m not sure
How we left it so long ago

I’ve given you space
For such a long time
But the memories feel like yesterday
A time so different than now
But still a time so recent
It all blurs together in my mind

I’ve given you space
In the hopes that you wouldn’t hurt
At least not as badly
I know I hurt you
And I begin to understand
That hurt doesn’t begin to describe

I’ve given you space
But don’t believe it was without cost
Don’t think for a second
That I don’t hurt too
It’s gotten easier over time
But it has never been easy

I’ve given you space
But I think about you every day
Some days are worse than others
Living without you still feels so strange
There are times I want to take it back
But it’s too late now

I’ve given you space
Because I respect your choices
Because I know that I am not welcome
I have betrayed you
And hurt you
And I am truly sorry

I’ve given you space
And kept my distance
And you have forgiven me
Though I don’t think you understand
But all I can do now
Is try to move on

Once in a While

I know we had something
That time feels years ago
And now we're so distant
It's all changed so much

We don't always see eye to eye
And you didn't understand
Why we couldn't be together
But I had to do it anyway

And now you're moving on
I know you've found someone else
She's better for you for sure
Maybe she won't make my mistake

But I just have one question
Why did things have to change?

We were friends before
And maybe we are still
But you simply cannot deny
That things are different

I know you care for her
And I don't ask that you not
By all means, love her
Even more than you could ever love me

But what about me?
I'm not asking for a lot
I only want to be cared for
To be asked how I'm doing

Every once in a while

Recovery

The ground is blue
Bathed in a silver blanket
A gift from the moon
The area is undisturbed
And peaceful
But then it happens
The winds pick up
And the clouds blow in
The rains come down
And the waters rise
Fires spread with the winds
The once beautiful land
Is now gone
Destroyed
How could is ever recover?
But that's the funny thing about nature
She always recovers
It could take weeks, months, years
But somehow, someday
The moon will spread her blanket
Over the beautiful, peaceful land
Once again.

Memories of Our Time Together

Painful reminders of
The way we were
Haunting memories which
Keep me awake at night
Life goes on
And I still miss you
Miss the way we were
The way you smiled
The way you hugged
The way you cared about me
But you have moved on
And I am glad
I feared I had hurt you too badly
But you seem to have healed
And so should I
Our lives were once connected
Never to be the same again
Each having left our marks
On the other
And now that time has passed
We have gone our separate ways
Perhaps one day
We will meet again
But not today
Not while the wounds are still fresh
Today I will sit here
And remember you.

The Hourglass Effect

You start out happy
From the top of the world
Nothing could bring you down
Then slowly, oh so slowly
You start to fall
You don’t even realize it’s happening
But then realization sets in
You sink   down
                           down
                                    down
And the fall begins picking up speed
Scared, you look down to see
How far it is to drop
But you still can’t see the end
Where the sand is pooling at the bottom
Suddenly the ground gives
Out from right beneath you
All you can do is brace yourself
For the impact on the hard floor
With the whole world watching
You hit the bottom
And you think you’ll never recover
But before you know it
You’re back on top again
And now you know that the pain won’t kill you.

Slip Away

I’m slipping
Slipping away from myself
Back to the way I used to be
Dark days of pain and regret
Hard to breathe, hard to see
Impossible to understand

And maybe I am stronger for it
Maybe I am better for overcoming it
But things are different now
Friends have slipped away
Circumstances have changed
Love is gone where it once lived

Sinking slowly
Old habits lie in wait for
A moment of weakness to attack
With so many things stacked against me
Victory seems impossible
And I almost want to give in

Give in and just slip away…

Sound of Silence

Shhhhh
Listen to the silence
The calm, the quiet, the peace
It is nevermoving, neverchanging
It is always there when you listen

Shhhhh
What do you hear
That is the music of your heart
The song that lives within you
It may change as you grow, but it never leaves

Shhhhh
Do you hear those sounds
Those are the sounds of your soul
Always take time to listen close
To listen to the sound of silence

Fear of Night

The sunset is calming 

It is golden over the water
But it brings dread,
Dark, cold, and frightening
The sun is warm and bright
As is the day
Or a smile
Or a hug
But once the sun is gone
All that’s left is the night
And the night is what I fear
The night is black and lonely
There are no smiles, no hugs
No laughter, no friends
No, the night brings silence
And silence brings time for thoughts
Time for reflection
Time for tears
Night brings the realization
That it is not the night that I fear
No, the only thing I truly fear
Is me.

The Call of the Snuggledee

I had a Biology assignment to write a Dr. Seuss-style response to the Lorax so here it is.

In the middle of Vrobisha, between the high and the low,
Lived a family of snuggledees, teensy and slow.
There was a mama, a papa, and 5 little dees,
Who lived in the forest of violin trees.
Those cute little creatures, how soft they were;
They were even softer, than the fuzzilorfur.

Now one day, after the dwadlewalk froze,
The littlest snuggledee had a quick doze.
But when he woke up in that hot midday sun,
His family was gone, every last one.
He searched high and low, looking all around,
And when he spotted them, what a sight to be found!

His family had been taken, dee-napped as it were,
By a strange creature, who craved snuggledee fur.
The creature had but two legs, and stood up very tall
He cared naught for the land, no not at all.
Now this small babe called out to me, and I to you
Please respect our environment, keep it clean and new.

Childlike Eyes

As a child, the world was simple
War made no sense
Child eyes do not see
Boundaries, borders, and lines

Now that I have grown some
I see these divisions
But the child in me
Still cannot understand them

I very much believe that when I am old
The divisions will remain
And though I may understand more clearly
My childlike eyes will not accept them

Dreams

Small puffs of smoke in the air,
Floating around our heads,
Circling, circling, searching for
A place to land.
Wishes, desires, and secret obsessions,
So much revealed in a private vision.
These are dreams you have while
Still sleeping soundly.

Vivid and horrific, causing tears and pain,
Images of monsters and tragedies,
Stinging and scaring the unsuspecting,
All too real.
Fears, secret and spoken,
These dreams know no bounds,
They cry out for your terror,
And receive what they desire.

Illusions and stories of untold treasure,
Both material and abstract.
Hauntingly beautiful dreams, that wait
Just beyond our reach.
They just laugh as you cry out in anger
When they slip from your grasp.
You ought to know by now,
You can’t create what you never had.

Fear Nothing

You look at your reflection,
in the mirror that hangs on your wall.
You don’t like what you see.
Too big, too short, too ugly.
Not good enough.

The world ain’t got nothin’ on you.
You’re beautiful, inside and out.
Dare to dream, dare to shine.
You will be remembered as the girl
Who tried.

Now, I dare you. To smile. To laugh.
To look at the world, hold your head up high,
and walk forward with blind bravery.
Nothing in this world can defeat a girl
who fears nothing.

Trampled on the Floor

Torn and trampled on the floor,
Squashed by the shoes of people
Whose feet have traversed faraway lands
All around the wide, wide world.
Covered in dusty footprints
Like a muddy welcome mat.

That there, is the still-beating heart of a human,
Once loved, but now no more, now
Unsure of how to continue on.
Where they will go, what they will see,
Remains a mystery in the dark,
Like the still-beating heart on the floor.

The floor is dirty and unclean and
Certainly not meant for such a
Vital organ as the human heart.
Will anyone tend to it? It seems
Unlikely. The pain will continue until
The heart, once trampled on the floor,
Is properly bandaged and loved.

The person was cut, betrayed, and burned,
Their heart was abused and hurt,
Pulled apart piece by piece,
One heart string at a time,
Until now, when it lies, like the dead,
Silent and trampled on the floor.

Made to Love

If I am made to hurt,
then I will hurt.
If I am made to heal,
then I will heal.
If I am made to cry,
then I will cry.
If I am made to smile,
then I will smile.
If I am made to be silent,
then I will be silent.
If I am made to speak,
then I will speak.
If I am made to live,
then I will live.
If I am made to die,
then I will die.
But I know I am made to love,
and so I will love.

Dolphin Smiles

They don’t mean to hurt me
But it throbs all the same
I feel rejected and ignored
Held captive by sworn secrets
And bound by empathy
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad
If I learned to not take everything
To heart, but I do and so I hurt.

Nothing stings quite like being used
Or finally telling someone your story
And being abandoned after
They think you’re fine now
You smile and so you must be happy
The bottlenose dolphin gets similar treatment
He smiles at you while begging for his freedom
Am I any different?

Why do you suffer? It’s needless, they say
Just let it all go and it won’t hurt
Why would I want to? I like feeling
There are good feelings in life
Love, Joy, Bliss, Compassion
It’s not the fault of the good that bad come
Why take them both? No.
I live on. I may hurt but I am stronger in the end.

Thawing Hearts

I don’t understand how everything fell so fast 

I made one wrong step and the whole wall collapsed
Can’t find my way out of the suffocating dark
Pretty sure Satan’s arrow has found its mark
Sooner or later someone will have to pay the price
A cold, cold heart more frozen than ice

Blood drops from the blade are caught in His hand
Made pure by His touch and holy command
The pain I once felt has been all washed away
By his blood, that’s what I’m told, but I’m still not okay
I want to feel the love that my body so craves
I’m tired of fighting, I’m ready to be saved

Ode of Pride

The pride of man would seem
Infallible. It drives man
To do great things in it’s charge.
He holds his head high and
Looks down upon his kingdom. He is a
Lion, driven to assume supremacy through
Pride’s tireless urging. Onward, it’s says, and
Man is happy to comply.

However, as soon as he has reached his
Mountaintop ambition and emerged
Victorious,
Pride, the very nature which had spurred him on,
Returns to exterminate him. A knife in the back,
He receives, as he falls from his
Former glory. A result of overconfidence
In his own abilities.

The Hopes of the Hopeless

Whispers and secrets
Cut me like a knife.
This is pain I feel often,
It is my friend, and yet,
It is pain still.

I have seen the reflection
of myself as a black flower
amidst a field of pink
and yellow, these happy colors
that look down on me, mock me.

The pain in this world
Is overwhelming like the Black Death.
And yet,
There is beauty in it still,
Beauty in all the eye can see.

Tears mix with blood to create
A substance that might erase
The strains and the stains
Of a hurting world
If only, if only…

I Remain

I still keep your messages
I still have your picture in my room
(no longer on my nightstand but it remains)
I still follow your blogs
I still sleep with your stuffed animal
(no longer every night but he remains)

I still ask our friends about you
I still pray for you every night
and I pray that one day we will speak again
I still worry for you
I still cry for the pain I cause you
and the hurt the world forces on you

I still think about you
I still feel guilt for all I did not know about you
and all you do not know about me
I still feel sorrow for what we lost
I still get angry with you
but no longer as I once did

I still think of your nicknames
I still picture your gentle smile
though I haven't seen it for months
I still miss your whispered comforts
I still long for your arms around me
but I know it was for the best

I still apologize
and I hope you will one day forgive me
but until then, I remain.

Word Power

Words hurt; they steal my life away
and leave me bruised and scarred
as a result of our excruciating encounters.
People use words as swords
to cut me down with vicious names
that mark me as a martyr of pain.

I am called many names of many kinds
No one realizes, these names shape who I become.
You call me stupid, and I believe that I am
You call me loser, and I give up trying
But if you were to be a friend to me
and call me happy, then that is what I would be.

Helping Hands

She is holding the heavy weight of pain
Her shoulders are sagging as she’s worn down
Every day her strength is drawn down the drain
It won’t be long before she hits the ground

It’s a shock no one can sense her despair
She longs for someone to show her kindness
And yet, why should anyone really care
The night just closes her eyes in blindness

Despite all the pain, she holds on tight
To the bright hope she has kept in her soul
She knows that one day it will be alright
And so she waits to escape from the hole

Little does she know that it was all planned
For you to reach down and give her a hand

Scars

Does anyone see her,
Can they see those marks,
The bruises, the cuts,
That she tries to hide,
But she cannot, will not
Does anyone see her scars?

Take a look around you, do you see her?
A girl left with nothing to be
Her scars are everywhere
Although she tries to hide
All she can do is despair
And wait for the pain to leave

And the boy in the corner,
Can they see him crying,
Do they know why?
He thinks he’s alone in this,
This world that took his family,
What about his scars?

Take a look in the corner
There's nothing left of his life
Can anyone hear him cry?
Or hear him plead for mercy?
Can someone open up their heart?
Give him a chance

In Need of Company

You have said you’re sorry a million times
But you can’t see why I need you to stay
And yet I forgive you as my need climbs
Day by day my useless heart wastes away

Rain falls on the window, soft like my tears
My reflection sobs into the cold night
I have no one to help me face my fears
And it’s obvious that I’m not alright

The wasting world will not recognize me
They cannot see that my peace is shattered 

Like the rocks in the middle of the sea
I’m alone, on my own, spent and battered

Don’t you see that I need you to stay here
And convince me that I’m all you hold dear